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Green’s Cheez Whiz an everyday reference book, enjoyable read

August 23, 2012

Being a big fan of reference books is something that many of us may subscribe to as an endeavor. There are literally millions of reference books on millions of topics for our day-to-day lives. There are cookbooks, scientific books, historical books, activity books and many other types of books that give us useful information about things we want or need to get done. If there is a topic that is not covered by some sort of reference book, I would be surprised. I woke today feeling rather jovial and thought it would be neat to write about something funny. I perused the bookshelf and found a reference book that I just could not resist discussing. It is both fascinating and light-hearted.

Today’s book is entitled Clean Your Clothes With Cheez Whiz. It was written by Joey Green in 2000 and is published by Renaissance Books out of Los Angeles, California. The title alone may stop you in your tracks. I almost fell over laughing when I first beheld this charming reference book. It is filled to the brim with creative alternate ideas for everything from air fresheners to lubricating zippers. By the way, both of those issues can be dealt with using Irish Spring deodorant soap according to our author. Who knew? After getting over my fit of laughter, and simmering down to a chuckle I realized that this book is very cool! There are literally hundreds of ideas for alternate uses for everyday products you may have on the shelf in your pantry or in your cupboard.

Whenever you find yourself in some sort of situation that needs immediate attention, you will find that all of your friends and family members will come up with some solution or other to help you address your issue. Some of these ideas are more bizarre and outrageous than others. Seltzer on a red wine stain seems to be understandable, due to the nature of seltzer’s chemical composition and that fact that red wine is an organic substance. You dribble a bit of the bubbly substance on that wounded looking couch covered in red grape juice, and the stain magically disappears. I am not precisely sure why cold water will remove a little blood stain from your shirt or blouse, but it does. And conversely using hot water will set the stain. It must all be about chemistry and the reactions different substances have to each other. Regardless these ideas for problem solving make some sense. Clean Your Clothes With Cheez Whiz gives you some ideas that seem like a longshot at best, but apparently do work, and it is fun to read about.

Joey Green spent many hours, days, weeks and months testing all sorts of common products around his house for new and creative uses. He intimates that there may be some kind of conspiracy in our government which is seeking to cover up all of these wonderful and helpful tips he is uncovering. That may or may not be true. Our leaders have been known to want to support big chemical companies in the past. Perhaps the Johnson and Johnson plot is thicker than we thought. Green decided to share what he unearthed with the common people here in the United States of America with great success. He had several spots on major television programs where he had Jay Leno shaving with Jif peanut butter, and Conan O’Brien conditioning his hair with Miller High Life beer. These experiments went off well, with tons of laughs and happiness. Some of us may cringe at the ideas, but apparently we must not judge lest we try them first.

The book is set up in a user friendly manner. There are thirty or so products listed out in the table of contents. There are products like Gatorade, which combats everything from hang-overs to pangs of gastrointestinal pain. We know the footballers like it, and drink it by the gallon during the big games. The book will go on to give you other uses for the Gatorade container, like as a flower vase, megaphone (for short distance transmissions I would say) or as a drill holder. It seems to verge on environmentally green friendly. I believe Mr. Green has a vivid imagination and had a lot of fun putting this book together. He includes a handy index in the back which addresses problems you may have, such as a sore nose, or where to put all those loose screws you have lying about in the garage, or how to remove rust. The listings direct you to the solutions he has discovered. Each product is broken down to let you know some of the alternate uses for it, some of the history of it, the ingredients in it and a very funny and interesting section of strange facts the author discovered in his travels. He also includes distribution and contact information for your further excitement.

Joey Green is a native of Miami Florida and went to Cornell University. He was a long-time contributing editor to the wildly popular comedy magazine National Lampoon. He has written ten books in total, including Polish Your Furniture With Panty Hose, Paint Your House With Powdered Milk, and The Zen of Oz: Ten Spiritual Lessons From Over the Rainbow. He has other titles covering more of the same sort of things. He writes in a very light and easy reading style, and adds a good dose of humor into everything he touches.

If you have a serious issue with wrinkles, or need new uses for your Post-it Notes, or have a dirty dishwasher that you just cannot beat, Clean Your Clothes With Cheez Whiz just may be the book for you. It will give you some useful tips, and put a smile on your face. After all, what is more important than putting a great big smile on your own or someone else’s face! Run, walk or sidle on down to your local book store or hop online and grab a copy of this very handy and fun book!
Enjoy and read on!


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